three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
