if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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