laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
