one two three fourrrrnication!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
