I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
