i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
