Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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