Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
