Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
vagina is talking i cant
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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