We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you didnt know i had herpes?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
