So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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