okay pat passed out under dana's car
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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