you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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