Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
