so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
