And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
