walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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