He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
