But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
