Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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