How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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