This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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