she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
