i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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