OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
