Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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