you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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