I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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