So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
