I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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