'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just pee around me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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