i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
