True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Operation Purity has been aborted
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
