So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
