My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
