Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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