so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
