he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
