you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
