Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
