and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
