I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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