So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
