It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
