Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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