yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
