windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
