Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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