I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
