took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
