i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
