Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's shark week go big or go home
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
