there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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