i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
