Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
